About:

I'm gay. I wish I weren't gay. Here's what I wrote in 2004. Gay used to be a happy word, But like always things change. Now its a slurry nasty word That means you don't fit. Everyone says you should be so happy, That you've finally fufilled your destiny. But they don't know the reality... Life was in the closet was so much easier. I hate my new life, I don't hate myself for being gay I don't want to hurt people that I love, I don't want people to hurt me. I'd be better off dead, No one to hurt, no one to disappoint. There was a time...there was a place When being "gay" was good thing...but no more. I have hated my life since I was 13. I'm back in God's country, Central Oregon for a while. I love my family, my ex-wife n my kids Brian and Heather. I can sense dumb ppl. I luv Jajay.